When I think about the holidays, the song “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams comes to mind … in a mind-whirling repeat playing just that one line from the song.

The fact of the matter is that not all festivities are a “wonderful time of the year” for many. For some, it is the most “not-wonderful time of the year.”

What causes the holidays to be so troublesome?

• Holiday trauma, such as unpleasant memories or incidents taking place on or near a holiday
• Holiday expectations to observe with co-workers, family, or neighbors when you wish to celebrate on your own
• Experiencing the holiday without a loved one
• Being powerless to spend the holiday with loved ones because of COVID-19 restrictions
• Expectation of giving presents and spending money

Take one-part mental health, one-part past holiday stress, add COVID-19, and you have a recipe for melancholy, withdrawal, overwhelm, and/or isolation. If the holiday has you down, you are not by yourself.

Here are four ideas to encourage you if you are navigating multiple feelings.

• Honor your emotions. They are yours! Do not pack them or withhold them. They will not go elsewhere even if you succeed in hiding them.
• Talk to your therapist or make an appointment to see one. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It is the strongest thing any individual can do. It takes bravery to acknowledge the need for support and indeed more bravery to receive support. If you are fortunate to have a therapist, make your appointment and keep it! If not, establish one. Check your insurance coverage for therapists in your network, or search psychologytoday.com. You don’t have to go through difficult feelings alone.
• Consider getting support online. Findyourwords.org provides resources and advice to encourage care for yourself and tips on how to talk to loved ones including children about depression.
• Set reasonable expectations for yourself. You can only afford what your budget will sustain. Be straightforward with yourself. A handwritten note of appreciation or a homemade gift is a thoughtful gesture. It is truly the thought that counts.